On the pong table apparently, as it remains to be my favorite drinking game. Amongst the dozens of dizzy bats, flip cups and other forms of former PG-rated activities, pong is far superior. A classic and versatile sport, I have played pong in the most diverse of venues against the most respected of opponents in the league. From using candlelight during a notorious Cleveland storm, an inflatable raft in a pool, or on an unhinged closet door in the freshmen dorms, where there is a will, there's truly a way. Even if it means using your grandmother's porcelain china for the water cups.
While pong technique itself is a gentle science, there is a whole other aspect of the game that can completely dictate your reign on the table, the pong partner. Your pong partner needs to be selected carefully, as there is little room for mistakes in this critical game-time decision. I for one, know that there are certain people that I cannot ever play beer pong with, even if we are actually great friends in life. I would go as far to say, I select beer pong partners as carefully as I select partners in another critical realm of life: dating. Yes, my friends, I went there.
"Meem the Nati has gone to your head!!"
"I thought that snowboarding accident last year wasn't that serious!"
It's okay everyone, I really think I'm on to something here. That statement may seem a bit far-fetched, perhaps even a little twisted. Yet time and time again, I have seen that my beer pong chemistry with a boy translates to my romantic chemistry with that individual in life. (Thankfully nobody reads this blog thus saving several friendships from becoming a bit awkward) Nonetheless, just think about what makes two people good partners, in pong and in dating. In pong, one needs to be consistently accurate, while the other needs to come in the clutch with redeemers and strategic bounces. One needs to always keep a considerate eye on how the other is holding their pong beer, urging them to finish it or else risk the chances of the other team making their personal. There needs to be strong communication between partners, creating intricate bounce-shot combos that will throw off the other team. Additionally, compromise becomes key as one person needs to understand if their partner shoots more effectively at a classic triangle versus a sideways rearrangement, or maybe a rhombus versus a diamond. This compatibility, consideration and compromise translates directly to how successful two individuals will be in a relationship. Every couple has to find a strategic balance in order to function healthily and happily, this same philosophy plays out in the great game of pong.
The ultimate, underlying factor however, is that you must want to play together. Many times, I have looked on enviously as my girlfriends get to play with adorable partners who keep them laughing for days, making all the right shots. They giggle with each other in-between turns, keeping their down time interesting and fun. Meanwhile, I'm stuck with cute boy's gnome-of-a-friend and could not be more unhappy. While Prince Charming is sweeping my girlfriend off her feet across the table, I am forced to make small talk to hygienically-challenged individual, who can't make a cup to save his life. Just as this respective partner is showing me the collection of dead bugs in his pocket, my girlfriends' Casanova is sinking a spinner into a cup, one which due to my distraction, I failed to blow. At that point, I am so frustrated and turned off by Tweedledee next to me, that I would rather go gossip with the gals in the ladies room, and could care less about coming out victorious in the game.
Team chemistry only ignites one's developed beer pong skills, which is why partner bonding ends up using NBA Jam Rules to their full advantage. NBA Jam Rules are, in my opinion, integral to a great pong game, as I never truly trust a household that doesn't play by these rules. NBA Jam sequences have both ignited and been the result of deep chemistry between teammates. I actually don't think that the most notorious couples in history would have made it through the night if they hadn't been running the table for several key pong games prior to their declaration of monogamy. Marc Antony and Cleopatra, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, hell, don't tell me that Bonnie and Clyde weren't "on fire," before getting together. Its a proven tale, time and time again. Chemistry on the pong table leads to chemistry in the errr, can't quite spell this one out for you guys, but you catch my drift. Flirtation creates a spark, a spark creates an agenda, and next thing you know it, both you and your partner are on fire, on and off the table. After all, we're in our young twenties, isn't this the time for our libidos to dictate our decisions? Or did that excuse expire after going through puberty? Either way, I find that this pong partner-attraction theory, might as well go down in history alongside Newton's Laws of Motion. I mean, velocities have to change when forces are applied, right? How about the force of attraction? My friends in serious relationships are holding down the table far longer than any of us single folk. I'll be passed out clutching half a Jimmy Johns' sub well before they give up their spot. I know this magic is real, and I am not envious for the love they share for another, or the comfort of having a significant someone, but for how long they can run a pong table on any given night. Give they have that special pong partner.
When I look at a dating prospect, I never fail to check out his beer pong form. Confident demeanor, unique shot, a true gentlemen always stands a good elbow's distance away from the table and NEVER punches a wall if he misses a shot. While socially reprehensible, I wouldn't even mind dating someone who may shoot a mischievous bounce every once in a while as a playful taunt towards the other team. And what does a girl have to do for someone to jump over the railing to fetch a rogue ball for her, after all, we're often playing in heels. Perhaps I am completely jaded, maybe a bit too much of the tainted rinsing water has landed in my beer cups over the years, but I always seem to play my best games with dating prospects as partners. It's simple physics really, or maybe it's chemistry- I don't know, I was never really that great at either. All I know is that I'd much sooner be "heating up," with a partner like the desirable Kobe Bryant, before any of his other 7' NBA colleagues. Especially because Kobe is such a champ that he'd never dent a wall from a missed shot, or dent a loyal team for a hotter prospect.
Meem
"I thought that snowboarding accident last year wasn't that serious!"
It's okay everyone, I really think I'm on to something here. That statement may seem a bit far-fetched, perhaps even a little twisted. Yet time and time again, I have seen that my beer pong chemistry with a boy translates to my romantic chemistry with that individual in life. (Thankfully nobody reads this blog thus saving several friendships from becoming a bit awkward) Nonetheless, just think about what makes two people good partners, in pong and in dating. In pong, one needs to be consistently accurate, while the other needs to come in the clutch with redeemers and strategic bounces. One needs to always keep a considerate eye on how the other is holding their pong beer, urging them to finish it or else risk the chances of the other team making their personal. There needs to be strong communication between partners, creating intricate bounce-shot combos that will throw off the other team. Additionally, compromise becomes key as one person needs to understand if their partner shoots more effectively at a classic triangle versus a sideways rearrangement, or maybe a rhombus versus a diamond. This compatibility, consideration and compromise translates directly to how successful two individuals will be in a relationship. Every couple has to find a strategic balance in order to function healthily and happily, this same philosophy plays out in the great game of pong.
The ultimate, underlying factor however, is that you must want to play together. Many times, I have looked on enviously as my girlfriends get to play with adorable partners who keep them laughing for days, making all the right shots. They giggle with each other in-between turns, keeping their down time interesting and fun. Meanwhile, I'm stuck with cute boy's gnome-of-a-friend and could not be more unhappy. While Prince Charming is sweeping my girlfriend off her feet across the table, I am forced to make small talk to hygienically-challenged individual, who can't make a cup to save his life. Just as this respective partner is showing me the collection of dead bugs in his pocket, my girlfriends' Casanova is sinking a spinner into a cup, one which due to my distraction, I failed to blow. At that point, I am so frustrated and turned off by Tweedledee next to me, that I would rather go gossip with the gals in the ladies room, and could care less about coming out victorious in the game.
Team chemistry only ignites one's developed beer pong skills, which is why partner bonding ends up using NBA Jam Rules to their full advantage. NBA Jam Rules are, in my opinion, integral to a great pong game, as I never truly trust a household that doesn't play by these rules. NBA Jam sequences have both ignited and been the result of deep chemistry between teammates. I actually don't think that the most notorious couples in history would have made it through the night if they hadn't been running the table for several key pong games prior to their declaration of monogamy. Marc Antony and Cleopatra, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, hell, don't tell me that Bonnie and Clyde weren't "on fire," before getting together. Its a proven tale, time and time again. Chemistry on the pong table leads to chemistry in the errr, can't quite spell this one out for you guys, but you catch my drift. Flirtation creates a spark, a spark creates an agenda, and next thing you know it, both you and your partner are on fire, on and off the table. After all, we're in our young twenties, isn't this the time for our libidos to dictate our decisions? Or did that excuse expire after going through puberty? Either way, I find that this pong partner-attraction theory, might as well go down in history alongside Newton's Laws of Motion. I mean, velocities have to change when forces are applied, right? How about the force of attraction? My friends in serious relationships are holding down the table far longer than any of us single folk. I'll be passed out clutching half a Jimmy Johns' sub well before they give up their spot. I know this magic is real, and I am not envious for the love they share for another, or the comfort of having a significant someone, but for how long they can run a pong table on any given night. Give they have that special pong partner.
When I look at a dating prospect, I never fail to check out his beer pong form. Confident demeanor, unique shot, a true gentlemen always stands a good elbow's distance away from the table and NEVER punches a wall if he misses a shot. While socially reprehensible, I wouldn't even mind dating someone who may shoot a mischievous bounce every once in a while as a playful taunt towards the other team. And what does a girl have to do for someone to jump over the railing to fetch a rogue ball for her, after all, we're often playing in heels. Perhaps I am completely jaded, maybe a bit too much of the tainted rinsing water has landed in my beer cups over the years, but I always seem to play my best games with dating prospects as partners. It's simple physics really, or maybe it's chemistry- I don't know, I was never really that great at either. All I know is that I'd much sooner be "heating up," with a partner like the desirable Kobe Bryant, before any of his other 7' NBA colleagues. Especially because Kobe is such a champ that he'd never dent a wall from a missed shot, or dent a loyal team for a hotter prospect.
Meem
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